And while these may not be the exact questions you were thinking about - unless, of course, you happen to be a stripper looking to have taxpayers pay for your augmentation surgery - these answers may surprise and benefit you anyway.

You actually are accepted to a Ph.D. program (yes, there is one) and start buying first-edition comic books for your, ahem!, research. Can you deduct any of these costs?

No way, says Tim Jessell, a partner at Greenberg Traurig in McLean, Va. "Most education expenses are deductible only if they improve job skills," he says.

The IRS Topic 513 concurs. Education expenses must serve a business purpose for your employer and be required by the person who signs your paychecks.

But wait! An accountant in New York tells me: "I had a client who not only tried to, but properly did deduct thousands of dollars of comic book purchases."

Everybody says you have a nice body, and you decide not to let it go to waste. You enroll in a dance school, but really it's to teach you moves for your next career as an entertainer in a gentleman's club. Deductible?

Nope. You can't deduct expenses that help you qualify for your next job. If you wanted to bone up on your secretarial skills to improve your current position, well then you might have a chance.

What if you are already working as an exotic dancer and are earning a good living at the PuzzyCat Lounge. Can you deduct the cost of cosmetic surgery then?

Your dog, Fifi, is the most beloved member of your family. And just to pay for her clippings you make Fifi do a modeling job or two. Can you deduct Fifi's expenses beyond the occasional grooming?

You would have to report her earnings as "hobby income," says the IRS. And you can deduct costs as a "hobby loss," but only up to the amount the pooch earned.

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