BEARS have no head for heights, did you know that? In fact, they don't like the dark very much either. Or spinning round in circles at speeds of up to 60mph. Or riding on the backs of donkeys.

I know all this because I have just been escorted around Blackpool's Pleasure Beach by a bear in large, red Wellington boots, a Hawaiian shirt, a baseball cap and voluminous blue shorts.

If you can get a word out of him edgeways, he will answer to the name of Bradley and he's a major star of the Haven and British Holidays Park at Marton Mere, a short bus ride outside town.

It's been a couple of years since Bradley and I last shook paws - at the British Holidays Park in Burnham-on-Sea, Somerset, where he took the morning off to do some shopping and left me to amuse the kids, dressed in a rather unconvincing bear suit.

And despite his kindness and... well, forbearance... I'm still not quite sure what to make of Blackpool. I live near Brighton and on paper the two resorts should be very similar. Both cater for day trippers, hen and stag parties, families and dirtyweekenders seeking a breather from the big cities.

But over the past 20 years I have watched Brighton shed its creaky image of the rouged old tart at the bar who has seen better days and become a chic, cutting-edge city. In Blackpool she still seems to be on her fifth gin and tonic.

The Illuminations in October attract millions more, and if the town wins its battle to host one of the new mega-casinos some 20 million visitors will be trundling down the M55 to try their luck.

Bradley's got his work cut out. Holidaymakers have been coming here faithfully for decades and they'll give me a kicking for suggesting that the old girl should smarten herself up a bit.

We tumbled off the bus at the South Pier and strolled along the seafront towards the sounds of screams and laughter from the end of the South Beach.

You can't really miss the Pleasure Beach. It is dominated by the £12million Pepsi Max Big One, opened in 1994, the tallest and fastest rollercoaster in Europe. At 235ft high and with speeds reaching 85mph, the Big One is not for the faint-hearted.

Bears, I discovered, are faint-hearted. Bradley gave this monster ride a hard stare, shook his furry head and headed off to Beaver Creek, where he fell into conversation with his namesake Bradley Beaver, who runs his own log flume for younger kids.

The same thing happened at Valhalla, the "biggest dark ride ever to be constructed". As soon as he saw the sign "You Will get Wet. You Might Get Very Wet", he disappeared into the Oyster Bar next door and made a total hash of slipping half a dozen molluscs down his gullet. He blamed his paws.

It's one of more than 145 rides and attractions at the Pleasure Beach, plus spectacular shows every day, including the famous Hot Ice at the Arena. If you don't want to do the rides, you can book the shows separately on 0870 444 5588. Bradley decided it was far too hot to hang around, so we trudged off to the Pleasure Beach's own hotel, The Big Blue, for a drink.

At the South Pier, Bradley declined to go on the Skyscreamer or the Skycoaster and I can't say I blame him. They are bungee-jump-style attractions which look terrifying.

I suggested a Chinese meal at the Mandarin in Talbot Road (black poolmandarin.co.uk), finding it eventually through a sea of hen-night revellers wearing rabbit ears and Stetsons. But Bradley wanted to get back to his park, so we caught the bus.

He waved a farewell paw and waddled back to his cave for a well-earned jar of honey while I settled down for a beer and takeaway pie and chips (£3.95) overlooking the lake.

Touring caravans and tents are also welcome at Marton Mere. For details, bookings and latest of fers visit havenholidays.com, call 0870 242 2222 or call the park direct on 01253 767 544. Entry to the Pleasure Beach is free' buy £1 tokens for the individual rides. A day-pass wristband (£29pp) gives unlimited rides and entry to all the shows. For details call 0870 4445566. Ryanair (ryanair.com) flies from Stansted to Blackpool twice daily. I paid £4.99 plus taxes each way.

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