AFTER one too many late-night matches on TV, the Fit For Life team dreamt of giving the players cosmetic surgery. But looking at the results (of the makeovers, not the matches), we think that it may be better to leave them as they are. They may not look great, but they sure do kick a mean football!

Rooney's metatarsal has been getting a lot of attention lately, but we think somebody should take a look at his ears – he may play even better if they didn't protrude so much (aerodynamics and all that physics tosh, you know).

After the surgery, Rooney would have to wear a snug-fitting bandage for 24 hours, and after that, a ski-type headband to support the healing ears. This band is worn continuously for five to seven days and then at night for six weeks.

Ronaldinho's trademark “gummy smile” makes him look like he has short front teeth, although it is actually due to the fact that his teeth are covered by too much gum tissue.

Braces, which can be used to change the positioning or alignment of his teeth. The braces will also probably correct the slight gap between the two upper front teeth. However, adults usually have to wear braces for a prolonged period, compared to children and adolescents who require similar treatment. Might help Ronaldo curb the overeating, though.

Crouchie isn't the only football player with basketball-player proportions, but unlike Czech's Jan Koller who is at least 103kg, this English beanpole needs to put on a bit more weight to be comfortably within the desirable BMI range. Currently standing at 2m (6'7”), weighing 75kg, Crouch's Body Mass Index (BMI) is only 19. The healthy range is between 18.5 and 25.

Zizou has always been recognised by the bald spot on the top of his head, but in the last five to six years, his hair has been thinning prematurely.

A hair transplant, where thin strips of skin containing hair are removed from the scalp and replaced in tiny holes (often created with the use of lasers) in the bald or thinning area.

Perhaps Serbia & Montenegro were so easily thrashed 6-0 because they were too busy quaking in their boots at the sight of Carlos Tevez on the pitch. Tevez's rough childhood did more than build his character and football skills – his vampiric teeth are due to an accident in nursery, when a girl hit his jaw with her head and broke his front tooth, and the scar extending from his ear to his chest is the result of another accident, where he was scalded with boiling water in the kitchen.

Dental reshaping and contouring to correct his crooked teeth. In this procedure, a cosmetic dentist will sculpt the teeth with a sanding drill, laser or abrasive strips. His brows could use some trimming as well. Can't do anything about the way his tongue sticks out during play though.

His small eyes don't make him any less of a spectacular player on the pitch, but what would Park Ji-Sung look like if he had double eyelids and bigger eyes?

Blepharoplasty, or eyelid surgery, which creates a crease on the upper eyelid, removes some of the underlying fat and stitches the two sides together. Blepharoplasty is traditionally done on ageing eyes to correct sagging or drooping eyelids, as well as bags and bulges around the eyes; so-called “double eyelid surgery” is becoming a (controversial) trend among Asians. We also cleared up Park's mild acne.

Back in 2001, Hernan Crespo broke his already-large nose during the Italian Serie A match playing for Lazio, giving his prominent proboscis a bump on the ridge.

Rhinoplasty, a surgical procedure to sculpt the nose, by contouring the bone and cartilage to give the nose its shape. This procedure can straighten the nose, as well as reduce its size.

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