ANGELINA JOLIE is not happy about new dad Brad Pitt's decision to take helicopter flying instruction, much preferring him to stay with fixed-wing flying like her.

Meanwhile, they've decided to split their residency between California, France and probably Namibia, where the government is so pleased with their decision to buy property (and probably adopt a local child), it's guaranteeing them continued privacy from paparazzi whenever they return.

Their new daughter Shiloh is thriving and Brad's next big hope is for a son. But Angelina's told him: "Wait a minute, I'm getting back to my career, and a third adoption comes before a second pregnancy."

Tom Cruise is stopping fiancee Katie Holmes from sending out pictures of their daughter, Suri, because he's paranoid the child could become a target for kidnappers.

Despite a damage control appearance on TV claiming her marriage to Kevin Federline is "awesome," Britney Spears is still holding the threat of divorce over her playboy husband's head unless he changes his lifestyle.

Meanwhile, Kevin's fuming pregnant Brit's hired naval academy graduate and former bar bouncer Perry Taylor, 28, as a combined bodyguard and 'manny' to help with baby Sean Preston.

Friends confide: "This ultra-fit guy is well capable of kicking chain-smoking, boozing Kevin's flabby butt if he gets obstreperous and Kev knows it; he's full of suspicion this guy could end up his replacement because Britney's already fond of him."

Jessica Alba complains that the males are horny little devils with large appendages and kept prodding her when she was filming the dolphin movie Flipper.

Susan Sarandon had a bad experience, too. She was gliding around a tank holding onto the back flipper of a male dolphin when its jealous mate attacked her. "I was only saved when the trainers jumped in and pulled me out," she says. "That angry female could well have killed me."

Denise Richards is another one who used a TV interview to defend herself against reports she stole Richie Sambora, best friend Heather Locklear's husband.

But Denise, who's twice spent European vacations with Richie, is fearful he could return to Heather after overhearing him chatting affectionately by phone with his ex while Denise was in Paris with the rocker.

Denise wants to be the next Mrs Sambora, but his Bon Jovi bandmates are telling him: "You'd be crazy to jump out of the frying pan into the marital fire so soon ..."

Heather also claims she's concerned how such slurs will affect their daughter, Beatrice, as she grows up. After her divorce she plans to sue newspapers "printing the lies" and persons who "made the allegations for cash payments."

There's real coolness developing between the Simpson sisters because Ashlee appears to have morphed into Jessica's image, using plastic surgery and clothes to appear like Jess's clone.

His excuse: "I want to bring her up to the same dollar-earning potential as Jessica." That means movie roles, fashion and cosmetic lines as well as more singing engagements.

Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are said to have come to a meeting of the minds about their relationship: They'll marry only if she becomes pregnant, but it's not a binding option.

Self-proclaimed fashionista Lindsay Lohan (who changed her outfits three times during the Oscars and who advises her friends on fashion) is planning to open designer fashion boutiques in New York and L.A. Lindsay says: "I can make money from selling fashion wear and save money on my own clothes."

Pals don't expect too much fun at soon to be married Nicole Kidman's week-long bachelorette party. She's spending $200,000 to take over an entire Aussie health spa before she marries country singer Keith Urban.

The spa rules: No booze, tobacco, drugs, sweets, tea or coffee. "It's going to be great," says already skinny Nicole. "We should all lose weight working out too!"

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